Day 2: When Life Hands You Lemons: Frustrations about our project and new thoughts

For our second Day of Giving, we went to a nearby park to give away free lemonade, hugs, candy, and stickers. The crowd was fairly sparse, but we had a few takers. For starters, just after our arrival, we saw the same woman who came up to give us a hug at the park yesterday! She gave us hugs again and we chatted a bit. Later, a mother and her kids came to our table for some free lemonade and some conversation. One member of our group even gave free candy to a police officer. There was a volleyball game going on, and afterward some of the players stopped by to quench their thirst, as well. "What are you guys doing this for?" they asked. "Just to do something nice," we responded. At the park, people seem a lot more responsive to kindness and positivity. Maybe that's because parks are naturally places full of good moods and happiness; families outside playing, people enjoying the afternoon sun and exercise, dog walkers out for a stroll. Conversely, a big store or business isn't exactly an environment that fosters genial attitudes, or encourages giving. I know that's a generalization, but that's my opinion. That's probably why we encountered so much more skepticism at Target and Dierberg's.

That being said, why do I feel so dissatisfied with our giving today? Overall, I know that we did good things. The fact that we made at least some people smile, and brightened some peoples' day is what this is all about. At the same time, I feel as though our time spent today wasn't very effective. For the majority of the day, we sat around our lemonade table outside and joked around. It didn't feel like we reached a lot of people. If we had taken the money we spent on supplies today and donated it to charity, would that have done more good than what we actually accomplished?

I think that's one way to look at the situation. But here's another way: We put smiles on at least a handful of peoples' faces. Our jokes made others laugh (and laughing is the best medicine...). Hell, WE even laughed a lot. Instead of hanging out in someone's basement inside, we got out and spent a nice afternoon outside, enjoying the weather and each other. Even though we may have "accomplished" what may seem like little, we did more than we would have done had we not dedicated the day to giving. Remember the lady whom we recognized from yesterday? Well, she was just as glad to see us today, and likewise, we were glad to see her. Ironically, we don't even know her name. But we can still walk up to her and hive her a big hug and say hello. I think that proves that we're doing what we set out to do, at least a little.

I know that this is an extremely optimistic outlook on our experiences so far. I believe that it's important to stay positive. At the same time, we should remain realistic, otherwise we are just fooling ourselves. I agree with some of the previous blog posts. For instance, it's a good point that many good deeds are contingent upon a situation that arises, which calls for help and kindness; someone's car breaks down so you offer them a lift, an elderly woman needs help carrying her groceries, etc. Maybe our random acts of kindness aren't as effective because they aren't exactly "random"; they're thought out and organized and at times uncomfortable. I also agree that an individual's acts of giving can absolutely be just as compelling as a group's. It's true, some people are naturally better or more comfortable than others when approaching strangers to offer a compliment or even an embrace. And yes, that gesture may seem more heartfelt or genuine, and make a bigger impact on the recipient.

But who knows? I think it's still important to do both: as a group, we can "push the envelope," so to speak; do things a little out of the ordinary to push people out of their comfort zones. I'm not saying we should creep people out, but acts that stand out make people think, make them remember. In addition, as individuals, we can do little things each day, when we see a good opportunity to offer help, or spread kindness.

What comes to mind is a YouTube video I saw recently. It's about one man's attempt to offer free hugs. At first he stood alone in a crowded mall, holding up his sign seemingly unnoticed (or ignored) while passersby kept walking. But then, someone stopped to give a hug. After a while, more and more people stopped to receive their hugs. Pretty soon, others joined him and held their own signs, giving their own bear hugs and group hugs. Even after the police attempted to ban him, many patrons joined him in collecting 10,000 signatures: enough to petition to keep the hugs going strong. The point is that, what started out as an odd and uncomfortable gesture ended in a simple act of kindness that affected many people, so much so that it became disheartening NOT to continue.

Realistically, we have a lot of tweaking and reforming to do: we need more ideas for giving that will impact others in a more effective way. But optimistically, we're still doing good things, and having fun doing it.