Today I participated in the 7 Days of Giving and it felt good!
I was a counselor on a retreat that aimed to help freshmen at University of Southern California get acclimated to school and meet other freshman before classes even start. During our block of free time I recruited another counselor to go around throwing complements out with me. We first hit up the pool to comment on cute bathing suits and cool sunglasses. This went well and the kids responded with smiles, but my co-complementer brought up a good point: we were just giving complements based on physical appearances; instead, it might mean more to complement who someone is on the inside. The dilemma about this was that there were about 80 freshman on this retreat who we had just met the day before. It’s hard to complement someone’s personality when you hardly even know his or her name.
So, we settled on complementing physical appearances of strangers and people who we didn’t know very well and gave “deeper” complements to our co-counselors who we knew more personally. Everyone took the complements well I think some of them really appreciated being recognized.
When the retreat was over and we returned to LA, two of my friends and I headed to Superior, a local grocery store. We started collecting carts, lining up the three wheeled and broken carts at the back of the stack. After a bit, my friends went inside to buy some groceries.
I continued to gather carts and then I spotted a man in an orange construction vest also collecting carts. I introduced myself and exchanged smiles with Jose. I told Jose about the 7 Days of Giving and asked if it was OK if I helped him collect carts. He said, “Yeah, maybe,” but seemed hesitant to let me help him (but not in a mean way – his smile told me he was a real nice guy). So I went ahead and got a cart and brought it back only to hear Jose say, “No, it’s ok, you don’t have to.” I went on to explain that I was happy to do it, but he again declined my offer to help. I respected his feelings and I went inside to meet up with my friends. On our way out we said goodbye to Jose and he left us with a smile and a wave.
We tried, but I think Jose felt like it was his job to collect the carts and he wanted to do the job that he was getting paid to do. A man with a real work ethic. ☺ Well it was fun anyway.
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Personally, it took me a long time to learn to receive compliments and kindness from others-- and I'm still learning. I've discovered that it can be harder to receive than to give, and maybe that's what Jose was feeling. Glad you made him smile though!
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